Stop. Collaborate. Listen.

I didn't want to disturb the other movie patrons around me, but if I could have live-twittered The Curious Case of Benjamin Button it would have gone a little bit like this—and mind you I’m telling you almost a week after I saw the movie, so the time stamps for the tweets may be a little off:

7:00pm – okay the movie’s about to begin! I can’t wait!
7:01pm – oh great, it’s one of those life-stories framed around a dying person.
7:06pm – I wanna ask this old guy next to me if WWI was really like that.
7:12pm – holy crap was that Jason Flemyng?
7:14pm – I thought babies generally look kinda like old men, but this one really does!
7:24pm – I like how Brad Pitt even plays the old/young version of himself. I wonder if he plays the young/old version, too?
7:31pm – Young Daisy’s voice is overdubbed. Wtf??

7:45pm – Wow that Benjamin sure can sex it up as an old man! Also, while I’m on the topic, I like how he’s dressed like an ancient Indiana Jones.
8:18pm – Great. WWII. Shoulda seen this one coming.
8:23pm – Yeah, this movie is nothing like the short story. I like this version slightly better but it feels like they’re just cramming a random …
8:24pm –… life into this guy just to make it seem interesting.
8:39pm – Some kids just left the theatre. I guess this is too much for them?
8:49pm – If that’s Jason Flemyng he’s got a good Southern accent for a Brit.
9:02pm – Oh wait how long IS this movie?
9:04pm – Well that seemed like a ‘Sliding Doors’ moment.
9:08pm – Yay for Brad Pitt looking his age. And Cate Blanchett gets more beautiful as she ages.
9:10pm – Okay the movie can end any time now.
9:13pm – Surprise surprise. At least you weren’t born an old woman.
9:20pm – I get it. Katrina’s coming. Now end this movie, PLEASE!
9:27pm – Elderly/teenaged Brad Pitt doesn’t look too shabby.
9:28pm – Scratch that. I found problems with the effects.
9:42pm – I think this is the end… and I really like how they’re wrapping it up.
9:43pm – THANK GOD! CLOSING CREDITS!
9:43pm – ZOMG It IS Jason Flemyng!

Benjamin Button is very long, kind of boring, but still has moments. However, if you’re thinking about it, don’t see it in the theatre. You’ll end up having to go to the bathroom halfway through and then you’ll miss…. Oh wait, nothing much happens in the movie, so you could go pee and come back and not have missed much. But still, it’s so long you’ll want an intermission, and while DVD and Blu-Ray offer intermissions, movie houses do not. And also, Brad Pitt does not play himself as an old man who looks like a child.